You wouldn’t think taking my car to get inspected would be something I look forward to, but I enjoy it. For about 20-30 minutes I take a nostalgic whiff of oil and gas. It reminds me of my youth watching my dad fix the car or helping my uncle by handing him tools. There’s something about a garage that is like gathering in a kitchen or a barbershop, it’s a conversation hub.

As I pulled my car into the garage at Scott’s Auto, I see my mechanic talking to an older gentleman. It’s 8am, Louis hasn’t even gotten the first smudge of oil on his shirt and I’m praying there’s nothing wrong with my car and it passes inspection because my strategic maneuvers for avoiding cops has been challenging lately. As he works on it, I decide to mention how dangerously people are driving these days and both agreed accordingly, which lead to a discussion about how people are no longer considerate. Louis told me it would be a minute and John, the older gentleman, suggested there was a stool I could go sit and wait on so I wouldn’t have to stand and I obliged him. I sat there awkwardly for about five minutes when Louis came over and told me I had a headlight out. “Dammit, never fails!” I get up from my stool and walk over to John. “It’s always something, huh?” he sympathizes. “Yup, always,” I replied.

I looked over at the riding lawn mower and mentioned how I’ve had to cut my grass so much that I needed one of those because I have a sizeable backyard now. John, engaged. We began talking about the weather and within a fifteen minute window he proceeded to tell me he sold and repaired lawn equipment and machinery including appliances. We shifted to my neighborhood and how much I loved it and he mentioned his friend who lived up the street from me. I discovered that John was a retired fireman and that he left because he was dragged by a firetruck injuring his leg. “I almost died, but the good lord saved me. I knew it was time to retire.” “And here you stand!” I celebrated. He didn’t hesitate to ask me what I do for a living and we talked about Richmond neighborhoods and growing up here and there. We talked about community and gentrified neighborhoods. We talked about food and my nationality. We talked about New York and where my mother lived. I got and gave a substantial amount of information in such a short period of time and it was…fulfilling.

As Louis put the 10/19 sticker on my windshield, I felt good. I woke up tired and hurried to get my car there, but for thirty minutes or so I got to talk to these men over coffee and the smell of garage. I asked Louis about his son and he looked surprise that I remembered. With all the crap I read daily on my social media feeds and consistent non-connection I feel in work and personal relationships, it was refreshing to “shoot the shit” with these two men. It was more than likely the highlight of my day. I sometimes wonder why people are so reluctant to talk to one another. My friends always give me a hard time because I will talk to anyone because I like to hear stories. They complain because don’t want to be hassled or they don’t have the time for conversation and I thought about youth again. How we would call each other up on the phone and talk for hours or how my parents would have “company” over and play cards while catching up on their lives. My phone rings now and I hit ignore, but I find myself uncomfortable when there’s no conversation in a crowded room. Last night as I sat at the bar sipping my wine I observed the bright white lights of phones lit up as one person read the news, one his text messages, the other a game. I was talking to the staff, fluffy stuff, but talking to them nonetheless and it reciprocated. It is excruciatingly annoying when I ask someone a question and get a one word answer. It also makes me think they don’t want to be bothered.

I guess all I’m saying is, we should engage a little more. When was the last time you spoke to a stranger besides asking your server for something? When was the last time you sat at a table without a phone? Why have we decided to stop talking to each other? I’ve decided to give myself a little assignment. I want to see how many conversations, real conversations I can have in a week and how many are started with me and what the subject matter will be and where will they take place. Feel free to participate. #talktoeachother